Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
September 2, 2021 · 7 min read
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
I have experienced myself a lot of moments where I felt really stressed, anxious, depressed and fallen in despair.
One of the more recent ones was my loss of a pet that I‘ve had for 12 years. It was my best friend, my supporter in dark moments and a companion in every happy life moment.
Therefore, the loss of my friend had a very big impact on my overall mood. In scenarios like these and others, we must know how to cope with our feelings. It‘s very easy to fall into a loop of despair, which is a reasonable natural reaction for a person.
However, we also must know how to make yourself feel better and cope with our feelings. Feeling happy and grateful for everything is very important aspect of enhancing your well-being. We all deserve to enjoy our lives.
Why we don‘t feel happy about ourselves
People feel unhappy because they are unsatisfied with their present moment of their lives. People are extremely emotional and we get attached to emotions very quickly. Sudden change of emotions leads us to unhappiness. The emotions are the result of thoughts, feelings or behavior.
This state of mind is devastating for everyone and we feel hopeless. Whatever the reason is, we don‘t feel comfortable with ourselves. There can be a lot of reasons why we feel unhappy and sad:
- Unsure about future
- Break-ups
- Financial problems
- Problems at work
- Loss of family members/pets
- Feeling not worthy of relationships
- Lost self-confidence
- Feeling behind in life
- Sad for no reason
- Other people annoy you
A lot of other reasons can be involved why you feel unhappy and unsatisfied. Every situation is very, very individual.
You know, I wish such feeling didn‘t exist and that nobody would have to feel that way. Life has to offer a lot of beautiful things, yet we fall into negative thoughts. Then, it becomes a cycle of habit: we start thinking about bad experiences and we feel more and more unhappier.
Instead, we should embrace our lives with positivity and changes. It‘s human nature to notice all threats in our life. We must practice how to make yourself feel better as possible.
13 Ways to make yourself feel better instantly
1. Breathe
Please, if you are looking for only one quick way to make yourself feel better instantly and for the long-term too, then you must really focus on breathing.
People overlook breathing because it‘s crazily simple and no one expects that something simple as breathing can help to achieve better mental health.
Slowing down your breathing and being conscious about it can help you tremendously. A study has shown that rhythm-specific breathing exercises help people reach a meditative state that helps people to relax and calm down.
People that practiced Sudarshan Kriya yoga reported reduced depression and anxiety levels. In fact, this method was used on people that have been on antidepressant medication treatment which showed no significant results.
Therefore, breathing can be a very powerful tool to make yourself feel better.
How to practice:
There are a fair amount of breathing techniques used in Sudarshan Kriya yoga. Let‘s take two of the techniques as an example.
Ujjayi breathing method requires 2-4 breaths per minute approximately. The inhalation and exhalation durations are equal. This method relaxes and makes you alert.
As an opposite, Bhastrika (bellows breath) requires about 30 breaths per minute. This method requires rapidness and forciness. Exhalations have to be twice as long as inhalations. Bhastrika breathing technique stimulates your body and calms you down.
Here is a practical video on this yoga technique. It goes down to the practical breathing exercises. Also, notice the comments‘ section under the video. People are thoroughly happy how this has helped them reduce stress and depression levels.
2. Get outside
Did you know that by going outside for a walk you can make yourself feel better? A study has shown that by going for a walk endorphins are released, which are responsible for our mood improvement and relaxation.
Personally, it makes me feel better. Therefore, it can be a very quick fix to improve your mood.
If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward. - Martin Luther King Jr.
How to practice:
- Go outside nearby your home or anywhere else where you feel comfortable
- Choose a safe path to walk
- Make sure your walking session is at least 10 minutes
- Do a several walks a day if you have a busy schedule
- Vary your paths to bring excitement
3. Experience something new
Excitement brings joy and you perform way better than under stress, Harvard study finds.
If you have been thinking for a while to start jogging, then it‘s a great place to start. This will greatly improve your mood and you‘ll feel way better than before.
Of course, it can be completely opposite to that, like reading a new book, picking up an instrument that has been collecting dust for 2 years and so on.
How to practice:
Have some brief thoughts about what you have been thinking to start doing but never did. Maybe it‘s going to the gym? Or start riding bycicle? Whatever it is, have a try.
At first new experience might be daunting, but then it will be very exciting and rewarding. You should always approach new challenges with excitement.
Here is a list of 45 actitivities that you could start doing if only your current situation allows.
4. Talk to someone
Talking to people is very therapeutic. However, keep in mind that not all people are open to do some talks with you.
Communicating with people is natural behavior for a person. It can be something simple as that, but it has a lot of healing power. Sometimes the simplest things matter the most.
How to practice:
You have to think of someone that you can trust and if he or she is totally fine hearing your problems out.
It can be your parents, friends, significant other, relatives.
Don‘t hold your emotions. Let them know how you feel. Even if your listener doesn‘t say anything or only says: “I’m very sorry to hear that”, it still helps tremendously. Sometimes the other person might give his own personal experience related to this.
Sharing thoughts and experiences are very helpful for mental health and well-being. Don’t hesitate and ask if the other person had similar experiences to share with you.
5. Write a journal
Writing down your thoughts, feelings in a journal is a divine blessing. I‘ve done it myself a lot and it gives a bigger picture of the situation. Our minds are chaotic and many thoughts are wandering in our head.
However, journal helps us to organize our ideas, thoughts, opinions in a proper way and opens our eyes. Also, it‘s very interesting to see and read feelings that you‘ve gone through after a few years.
Not only it‘s good for you to calm down when you write down to your journal, but you can also notice and track your progress in life after reading the journal after many years.
A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. - Christopher Reeve
How to practice:
Get a comfortable notebook that you‘d love to write in. Whenever you feel unhappy, open the journal and start writing about what, how, where, under what circumstances that happened and how you could avoid it later.
Chances are that you might get into the same situation after a while and invaluable poured emotions into journal can help you remember how to cope with this problem.
6. Practice self-care
Self-care is often very neglected. If you don‘t do self-care, you don‘t respect yourself the way you should. Self-care plants seeds of love for yourself.
You will start appreciating yourself more and you‘ll become more confident in whatever you do. It was clinically proven to eliminate or reduce frustration, anger, anxiety, depression, increase happiness, concentration, energy levels.
How to practice:
You can do activities such as:
7. Let your emotions out
Practicing holding your emotions is harmful to you. That‘s what I‘ve experienced myself and learned the hard way.
Those emotions will start eating you from inside and can make you even look like an emontionless person. Expressing your emotions releases the stress, pain, depression within yourself.
Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. - Mark Twain
How to practice:
You can express your emotions in many different ways: playing and instrument, painting, screaming, crying, go and have some time with yourself, talking with a friend, going to psychologist and many other ways.
However, don‘t adopt bad habits like breaking your or others inventory, doing drugs, using violence against other people or any other inappriopriate way.
Find out what works best for you. We all are very different people and we have to find our own ways to do it.
8. Turn on the music
Turning on your favorite song can be very relaxing and can bring you peace. You must find (you probably know already) what music works for you the best and listen to it.
However, there are also some scientific related practices, but keep a grain of salt about it and see what suits you the best.
How to practice:
Listening to music that you don‘t like and forcefully trying to relax might only just irritate you. This is an important factor to point out, because this is what study finds.
- If you to clear your mind and relax your muscles, then slower tempo music is suitable.
- To feel more positive and optimistic, you should listen to upbeat music.
- To have a better concentration and to feel more alert, you should listen to faster music.
9. Do chores
This is something that I do if I sometimes catch myself being irritated. I simply do chores which calm me down.
Chores that I like to do are usually outside: fixing, maintaining a car, doing gardening, mowing a lawn, trimming the trees and similar.
It distracts you from irritation and unhappiness and you eventually make yourself feel better.
To be good, and to do good, is all we have to do. - John Adams
How to practice:
Rarely who likes to do chores under normal circumstances. However, try to do something that you partially enjoy. It can be cleaning up the house, doing the laundry, sewing and others.
Chores that you might be into are very individual and differ from person to person. Try to experiment and see how it goes.
10. Enjoy the smells of nature
You don‘t have to look very far to make yourself feel better and happier. Study has found that some floral scents can reduce stress.
People usually feel better in the nature and more relaxed. This has been practiced since ancient times to fight depression, inflammation, sleep better.
How to practice:
Get outside and get to nearby trees, flowers, plants. Try to smell them and enjoy the moment.
Don‘t do it mindlessly. Instead, practice grattitude that you have such an experience to feel and smell the nature.
However, be cautious of your vegetation and always make sure that it‘s not poisonous or toxic before applying this method.
11. Write a positive list
In other words, be grateful what life offers you.
Practicing grattitude lets you appreciate life more and just give you a better view on how beautiful this life is and that you should always keep your head up.
This list of positive things will remind you that you‘ve gone through a lot of beautiful things in life and a lot more are here to come.
How to practice:
Take a notebook and start writing positive things in life that you‘ve experienced so far. You can start from the most impactful positive things and go to smallest ones or vice versa.
You can also figure out how bad experiences helped you become a better person and made you a stronger character in general.
There are a lot of positive things that we don‘t notice everyday. Have a good thought about it.
Almost every bad experience has the positives of it.
12. Simplify your work
Sometimes we get overwhelmed by our work. It seems that the problems keep piling up and we‘ll never cope with them.
Our thoughts are very chaotic in our minds, therefore, we have to structurize our work appropriately.
The deadlines are coming closer day by day and a lot of us get stressed about that. However, stress is unecessary in our life and we should thrive to make ourselves feel better.
Sometimes we get overwhelmed by our work. It seems that the problems keep piling up and we‘ll never cope with them.
Our thoughts are very chaotic in our minds, therefore, we have to structurize our work appropriately.
The deadlines are coming closer day by day and a lot of us get stressed about that. However, stress is unecessary in our life and we should thrive to make ourselves feel better.
Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt
How to practice:
Divide your huge tasks into smaller tasks. Be very precise about how much time you need for an individual task. Schedule those tasks accordingly: prioritize the most important ones and leave the most insignificant ones on your end list.
It will let you get a better grip on your projects and manage your time better.
13. Avoid blue light at night (bonus tip)
Too much blue screen negatively not only your eyes, but also mental health. For example, used blue light in night time is assiociated with depressive symptoms, cancer, diabetes. As a result, people sleep worse at night and feel more exhausted the next day.
Blue light is linked to much higher supression of melatonin secretion than other lights. Blue light shifts circadian rhythm to twice as long as comparing with green light, which corresponds to 3 hours and 1.5 hours accordingly.
Circadian rhythm is a 24 hour internal body cycle which regulates sleep-wake cycle.
How to practice:
- Avoid bright screens 2-3 hours before bed
- If you work night shifts, consider downloading app that filters blue wavelenghts for your night work.
- Expose yourself more to daylight sun
Final Words
Our well-being is especially important. If we are unhappy, we feel stressed, anxious, depressed, it provokes diseases and unstable mental health.
My point is, we must learn how to cope with our mental problems. Everybody should know how to make yourself feel better.
Even if you practiced the breathing techniques which were explained previously, you‘d see tremendous improvements.
Stay healthy and happy. We deserve a happy life.