Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
March 7, 2021 · 6 min read
“I have no friends, I feel like no one likes me, and I’ve realized that as an adult. It’s way harder than it was back in school.”
Having great friends is a strong asset in life to have. However, sometimes we find ourselves without no true friends and no more friends. If you ever felt that “I have no friends” or if you come to the realization that you have no true friends then this is going to help you.
The feeling of having no friends can lead you to thoughts such as “why did this happen to me? Why everyone seems to have a lot of friends except me?”
People can have a different outlook on you when you first meet them, but after a while they can see your socializing traits through. Faking is not sustainable and leads, at most, to short term relationships.
If you have no friends, you must change your mindset from the roots. In this article we will break it step by step. There are several reasons to why you can’t make any more friends.
Reasons Why You Don't Have Friends
The answer to the question “why I have no friends” is due to our personal traits and characteristics. People are different and depending on our level of differences, it can be easier or harder for some people to find friends.
For some people, it can be extremely hard to find friends, because they lack communication skills or insights how to interact with other people in a friendly manner.
The following segments explain deeper why you might have no friends.
1. You Are Introvert
More than 30 to 50% of the world population are introverts. They always pick solitude over socialization. If you are an introvert, you do not enjoy spending energy on meaningless social interaction.
However, those who are extroverts find socializing a way to boost their energy. Whereas an introvert spends his energy to mingle as he prefers one to one conversation, unlike an extrovert who enjoys intense social gatherings.
Introverts keep distance because they are often terrified of being rejected. That’s why they rarely go out and ask other people to hang out with them.
Introverts wait for others to initiate a conversation and ask them out. That is not the best practice to preach. To make a difference, it is a must to get out of the comfort zone and do something different.
Small things, such as making a small talk with a cashier, having a call about a product that you saw online is a great start to improve your social skills.
2. You are Hanging Out with the Wrong Group
Sometimes, no matter how nice you are to other people, you just don’t make a click with them. The reason could be that some people are narcissists or egoistic and they make you feel bad to make feel themselves superior.
It is because they already have created a notion about you in a form of a preconceived impression. Therefore, making efforts to fit in is just not worth it.
It is hard to understand, but if you are socializing with toxic people just because you are lonely or your family is forcing you to go out and meet others, you will end up by hurting yourself.
These people are not worth to be your friends. They will only suck your energy and make fun of you and gossip about you behind your back. Therefore, it is better to remain lonely and respect your solitude rather than hanging out with toxic people.
3. Psychological Barriers
Sometimes we have no friends because we don’t share our feelings, thoughts and experiences with our friends. The reason is because you believe that other people will judge you.
Never put up a fake personality if you are not comfortable around others. If you are doing this, then you are only fooling yourself.
People will pick up your fake personality and then they will feel uncomfortable around you because of your altered body language.
Try to be who you really are. Even if you lose a person in the process, at least you will be true to your own self.
4. You Don't Understand Social Cues
If you are having fun interacting, it doesn't mean that the other person is having fun also
A social cue such as yawn is important to notice. If you are talking and the listener suddenly yawns, it is most likely that he is not interested in the conversation.
Just because you are having fun does not mean that other person is having fun too.
What you need to do is to pay more attention to others attitude or behavior while you are talking to them. If they are getting bored and their eyes begin running everywhere in the room, then you should change the topic or ask a question to your listener.
In either way, if the person you are talking in does not put any effort to maintain conversation or look interested in it, he is probably not worth your time.
Understanding social cues play a big role in maintaining a thorough conversation.
5. Don’t Be Clingy
It is obvious that if you come across as a needy and a clingy person, you are putting too much effort.
Don’t persuade your friends for a meet up if they don’t feel like doing so.
They might just politely say that they are busy, but you should not be clingy and come as a desperate person.
It has to be natural and a wish for a meet up or a conversation should be from both sides of people.
How To Be Happy Without A Lot Of Friends (Or No Friends)
If it happens that it is hard for you to make friends or maintain friendships, then there is still another way to be happy.
Happiness does not mean having a lot of friends or having any friends at all. You can be perfectly happy by having only your own of companionship.
Solitude is one of the ways to expand your creativity and become more grateful to the things you already have.
Spending time with others can be valuable, but there is nothing wrong with being an introvert person. By being alone, you can greatly improve your self-awareness and work on your personality.
Introversion can also help us to view things in a different manner. As you spend time with other people who are outgoing, you will notice replicating some things that they do gradually.
You are not even aware of these changes, but these subtle changes reflect other people’s personalities that are slowly becoming a part of you.
This phenomenon can disconnect you from who you truly are. Being alone grants you all the freedom to identify your true self.
The following points will help you to analyze your personality and enjoy yourself more than ever.
1. Remain Compassionate To Yourself
Treat yourself with respect, love and kindness.
This will help you to cope with hard times when your mind tells you “I have no friends” and help you to understand that you are the only one that creates your own happiness.
Loneliness is something that we all experienced every now and then. Feeling isolated does not mean that you are weird.
Instead, it helps us to appreciate the time that we can spend with ourselves. This time can be very well spent on self-improvement.
Sharing your feelings and sentiments with other positive people can help you to process thought to create a healthy mindset
2. Process Your Feelings
It is essential to understand and discover your feelings instead of suppressing them. Take some time to sit down and understand your feelings.
We often neglect our feelings. Discover the swelling in your throat, the stiffness in your chest or even butterflies in your stomach.
After discovering these feelings try to understand where they are coming from and how to establish the positive ones and how to have less and less negative feelings.
There is also no shame in letting your emotions if you feel the need to. Scream, shout, sing, dance, cry…
Every feeling has an equivalent expression form. Take some time to understand your feelings, as it can help you to remove the emotional hurdles out of your way.
3. Focus On Your Goals
If you are feelings isolated and have no more friends, then use your energy into achieving your goals.
If you are a college student and you think that “I have no friends”, then don’t worry as it is not a problem.
Try to shift your focus and try to get good grades.
Try to plan your future if you want to travel the world. Use that time alone in creating strategy for saving and earning money.
Write your goals and dreams, as you will then have a better opportunity to focus on them.
4. Spoil Yourself
You can boost your mood by spoiling yourself. Give yourself time to do your hobbies or do something else that you have been putting away.
Do something that make your body feel relaxed and nourished.
Self-care is the ultimate way to feel refreshed. It includes everything that helps your body and mind.
It could be preparing a nice meal, sleeping or spending time in nature. You can also go for a massage or have a warm bath.
Exercise is also one of the ways to boost your energy and you can also feel better about your-self.
Moreover, it can improve your looks and give you more confidence.
Therefore, go out and enjoy the sunshine or a relieving set of spa procedures.
5. Write A Journal
As you write, you understand your thoughts on a deeper level and get to know yourself better
Writing your thoughts is a fantastic way to relieve your mind from all of the feelings and emotions that you have been holding on.
It is also an amazing way to talk to yourself on a deep level and organize your thoughts in a written manner.
Writing your memories, experiences, feelings can help you to understand yourself better. As you write, at the same time you analyze your ideas.
It can might assist you in understanding the causes as of why a certain event could have happened or understand where certain happiness come from.
If you feel like “ I have no friends”, a journal will provide you with a lot of insights when tackling this problem.
Final Words From Delightful Mindset
Friends are not the end goal of life.
Heck, there is no end goal, because life is a journey – it has a lot of ups and downs, but the most important thing is to be happy and to never stop improving your academic and emotional intelligence.
If you take time to analyze your traits and improve them, you will soon find out that you start attracting people that become your friends.
At the same time not only you will acquire new friends, but become a better person in general.
Nevertheless, it is better to have no friends, than a group of friends that don’t support you and make you a worse person.
You deserve more than this.