Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
December 12, 2021 · 5 min read
Always remember people who have helped you along the way, and don’t forget to lift someone up. ~ Roy T. Bennett
Do you still reminisce about some people and wonder how your life paths have separated?
People are part of our lives and they come and go, just like in a natural circle of life. They come for a lot of different reasons, some of them might be to hurt you and take advantage of you.
It’s no wonder that people come for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Some of people are temporary, while some of them stay your companions for the rest of your life. Still, people come in your life for a reason and every person plays a vital role in our lives.
Do people come into your life for a reason?
People can come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Every person serves a purpose in your life. People come into your life to solve your problem, make you more insightful.
The price that we pay when people come into our lives differs from person to person. Some of us pay with our feelings, getting hurt, some people have to pay with money or other materialistic things… But all of us have to pay time, which is the most valuable asset.
People that come in your life for a reason is bought with time. It gives us precious memories and invaluable experience.
So, the answer is definitely yes – people come into your life for a reason. The reason varies vastly depending on the circumstances and people that you have to deal with.
10 Beliefs people come in your life for a reason
1. To change you
It‘s natural when people rub off some of their character traits or habits to you. This change can be either positive or negative one.
Positive change happens when you experience something new that enlightens you. For example, a new co-worker might be introduced to your workplace and you might get some valuable insights from her or him that you‘ve never thought of.
Similarly, long-lasting friends act in the same way. They shape your character, you enjoy being around them, thus you take something from them that you find valuable.
On the other hand, nobody wants negative changes, but they are part of our lives. We might only realize the negatative change after a while.
For example, you found a new partner of your life. He/she heavily smokes, and you start joining to the company. While at first it can seem fun, after a while you will reflect the situation and realize it wasn‘t for any good.
Whether it‘s a positive or a negative change, you will start appreciate correct people more and will have more insights about life.
2. To teach you
People come in your life for a reason – to teach you a lesson. Lessons can be both uplifting or sad. Some lessons can excite you, some can hurt.
These lessons can literally be anything. They can range from finances, relationships to technology and cooking.
I make sure I always surround myself with good, down to earth, fun, real people, who always keep me grounded. ~ Sean Kingston
For an instance, your friend has always told you that your significant other (now ex) is sketchy and you should be very cautious about it. You simply mocked away this opinion and carried on with living your life.
However, after a few months you learnt it the hard way – your significant other cheated on you or broke up with you.
You missed some obvious signs that the whole relationship was a red flag. Thus, having a third party (a friend or someone else) can often provide you with valuable insights and teach you something very valuable.
3. To improve your life
People come into your life to improve it. These enhancements can be either subtle or drastic. Nevertheless, the only thing that matters is having someone who cares about you and makes you feel better.
While some people are completely energy and mood vampires, some people come into your life for a better reason – to help you feel more positive and support you.
You shouldn’t forget that these people may not remain for the whole life in your social circle. That’s why it’s important to value them and give something good back to them.
Remember the golden rule of life: you should always treat people the way that you would like them to treat you.
4. To abuse you
Unfortunately, life is not always candies and rainbows. There are way too many sketchy people that use you for their own benefits.
Some people come into our lives to take advantage of us from the point of financials, emotions, time, and much more.
For example, there are a lot of cases of emotional abuse in inmate relationships [1].
When you see the genuine, you don’t deal with the fakes anymore. ~ Nima Davani
Kindhearted people don’t notice these people at first. They offer their time and almost everything else they have. Only after facing the consequences, that is getting hurt, they see that these people didn’t come into their lives for a positive reason.
You will notice that they leave you empty handed and having even less than before they came into your life. You should always avoid these people at all costs.
5. To set an example
Some people come in your life for a very good reason. They set a great example of what to do or not to do.
Some individuals are charismatic, have a curious nature, always support, care about you, and never bring other people down. These people are keepers and make you want to be a better person yourself.
On the other hand, some people come for a season or a lifetime in our lives which set a negative example and what we shouldn’t do.
For an instance, not all children are lucky to have good and caring parents. Some of them might be abusive, they might divorce and leave a scar in your past.
It helps you to filter what is good in life and what’s not. It helps you to be a better person and spread happiness and positivity. You should always take only what’s the best out of people.
6. They come for a reason, a season, a lifetime
Some people come into our lives for a reason. Literally. They come to solve the problem that you have at the very moment. These people come into your life the most often. They are usually just strangers or very temporary acquaintances.
It’s okay to love something a little too much, as long as it’s real to you. ~ Gerard Way
Some people come into our lives for a season. Not to mislead it with calendar season! A season in your life can be a year, 5 years, or even a decade. You will go through many seasons in your life.
As you develop throughout the life, you will realize that some people are not meant to be with you forever. Your interests separate with these people. You will encounter your own problems that shape your identity and you will become too distant with these people.
Some people come into our lives for a lifetime. These people are the most important in your life. They are your closest friends and your family. They bring you the most joy in life and support you the most. They are the foundation who you are.
7. To help you find a direction in life
If you’ve encountered a person that came into your life to guide you, good for you! They come to break free you from worries and help to find yourself.
A lot of people wander in life without a sense of purpose or a direction in life. That’s one of the worst things that can happen to someone. Without a direction in life, a person only exists.
To truly start living, you have to search for yourself. A mentor that can help you to do that is incredibly valuable and can save you a lot of years wasted.
8. To set more self-control within you
God puts people in your life for a reason – to make you more emotionally, physically, and mentally stable. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t stable right now, but there is always space for improvement, isn’t it?
These people plant a seed of self-control in you. You become more insightful how to manage your feelings and your physical body better.
You start understanding your worth and take care more of your general well-being. You might start meditating, exercising, eating healthier. In return, you will feel tenfold better about yourself.
9. To make you protected and comforted
When such person comes in your life, you will know it instantly. You will stop chasing other people and won’t feel insecure anymore.
That person never controls you, doesn’t force you, but at the same time he encourages and supports you. That environment is filled full of love, humor, and courage.
You cannot control the behavior of others, but you can always choose how you respond to it. ~ Roy T. Bennett
Your days to finally be appreciated will come. He won’t take any advantage of you or abuse you in any way.
The only thing that you will feel peace, calmness, and security.
10. To make you more independent
Unfortunately, some people come in your life for a sad reason – to hurt you, but at the same time give you a valuable life lesson.
When they hurt you, you will soon understand that you can’t give trust people instantly. You need to take time to know them.
That’s why you will become more independent and rely less on other people. You will become your own goldsmith of your life and shape your road of life the way you want.
Surely, these lessons won’t be sweet. They will be sour, indeed. Though, you have to remember that the sooner you will learn that the better it will be. The younger you are, the more mistakes you can afford to make.
Final Words From Delightful Mindset
God puts someone in your life for a reason. These reasons vary a lot, and that’s completely okay. Life isn’t perfect and it shouldn’t be – people come and go.
Don’t be sad or upset if good people leave your life. They have added up to what you are now. They will always be with you no matter what.
And for the bad people – they give you valuable life lessons. They teach you what to avoid and how to behave in similar situation next time.
People are different and they come for different reasons in your life. Whether you were a reason for them to come, other people take out of this experience something too.
When people come in your life for a reason – take the best what they offer to you. You will become a much stronger and more confident person.
- Karakurt, G., & Silver, K. E. (2013). Emotional abuse in intimate relationships: the role of gender and age. Violence and victims, 28(5), 804–821. https://doi.org/10.1891/0886-6708.vv-d-12-00041