Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
August 17, 2021 · 7 min read
Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up. - Veronica Roth, Divergent
If you have lost something precious in your life and feel a tremendous burden of stress over your shoulders, then you’re not alone.
This is because everyone is dealing with the problematic moments in their lives that are draining their energy. However, living in contrasting regions, social beings have similar feelings when they lose someone in life.
I know, it’s not easy for anyone to deal with the fear of loved one dying. Despite this, fear of loss could paralyze your life and will result in a hollow human being devoid of emotions.
The fear of losing someone is a natural feeling and nobody could ignore this exhausting feeling that is deeply rooted in everyone.
Undoubtedly, life is a series of changes and a cycle of continuity. Nothing in this world will stay permanent, even non-living objects deteriorate with time.
However, this negative mindset can be mitigated by applying a few simple steps. But first, let’s learn more about your fear.
What kind of fear are you dealing with?
Each of us is surrounded by fears that are continuously digesting our inner souls and leaving us with a life full of regrets and disappointments.
There are various kinds of fears and almost every individual next to you is fighting these kinds of fears in life.
Perhaps you are dealing with everything at the same time?
Let’s discuss the type of fear that is emptying your life gradually.
5 Major fears of loss
Fear #1 - Fear of losing your loved one
As social beings, we all have our physical and emotional needs. To satisfy our needs, we build a strong relationship with others by adding love, care, respect, passion, emotions, satisfaction, trust, and worship.
Does the fear of loved one dying also perpetuates over your thoughts and you have idea how to deal with your life without your loved ones?
Every person has an in-built attachment with his/her parents and this fact is undeniable that this relation could be replaced. We know, nobody in our lives will love us as our parents do.
With time, when we step into adulthood, our parents step into their old age and we cannot reverse this cycle.
Every nut the squirrel hoards is another it's afraid to lose. - Marty Rubin
Due to irreversible changes, we get prey to the fear of losing our parents, but we cannot control this natural phenomenon and can’t stop our lives.
Moreover, losing a partner in a relationship who was our center of attention also turns our life into dark pathways devoid of hope and love.
The reality is, we forget that death is a bitter reality of life, and everyone has to die because humans are mortal.
However, the way an individual person accepts this fact differs from another person.
Fear # 2 - Fear of losing your job
Food, oxygen, water, shelter, and clothes are the primary needs of every human being.
To fulfill these needs, everyone tries their best and struggles to earn all necessities of life. Sometimes, our struggles bear fruitful results that make us happier.
On the other hand, situations could completely change with time and at that moment we have to surrender despite our inner potentials. Most of us are dealing with the fear of losing our jobs that are the sole sources of our income.
Losing a job means losing our essential needs of life and the meaning of survival. I have gone through a similar situation and I was helpless to deal with the consequences. Doing a job among toxic people will only drain your energy and boost negativity within you.
Unfortunately, I had to continue there until I got another job that was quite difficult in the era of a pandemic.
At that moment I realized that there may be something better waiting for me. With this tiny hope, I left my job.
In the end, fears were looming over my mind and I was unable to change the situation.
Indeed, there’s a natural power that is driving our lives and realizes our needs. Surprisingly, I got a better job.
Be hopeful in life and invest your time and efforts to water your seeds of ambitions rather than watering frustrations.
Fear #3 - Fear of losing financial security
Do not be afraid; our fate Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift. - Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Before adding any item to our shopping cart, we are always concerned about its guarantee and security.
In the same way, to deal with crises and emergencies in life, everyone wants to enjoy financial security.
But, sometimes we lose everything in life and empty pockets become our partners throughout our journey.
Often, people fear what they will do if they lose their financial security and sole means of income.
Fear #4 - Fear of losing your health
The biggest fear that every individual encounters in life is becoming prey to deadly diseases and losing health.
A healthy body is a sign of a happy life, but some diseases become part of your body and deprive you of wellness.
This type of fear also accompanies us when our loved ones have to go through unhealthy situations.
What will happen if we lose our loved ones and how will we spend our lives without them?
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. - Marie Curie
Fear #5 - Fear of becoming weak and old
I am a victim of this type of fear and I am a firm advocate that we all are fearing about old age.
How will old age turn us into weaker and helpless people?
What will we do when we have to walk through support?
Do our running feet become unable to walk slowly?
White and grey hairs with weak bones and wrinkled skin will become a part of us.
But remember that, it’s a normal process and a phase of our life.
7 Potential Ways to Overcome the feeling: Fear of Loss
The fear of loss is commanding our lives by leading us into the blind valleys of depression. Fear of losing loved ones can be mitigated starting from the mindset.
Nothing is eternal, therefore we must spend as much time as possible with our loved ones. Applying 9 simple, yet effective ways, fear can be reduced or even vanished out of your mind.
1. Acknowledge mortality
Mortality is the bitter reality of life, but we have no option other than death. From the birth of a child to his death, there are plenty of challenges that everyone has to go through in life.
We all are well aware of the reality of life and should consider death a transformation from this world to another world.
Although the other world is still a mystery for us, we can’t ignore our final destinations. Life is full of ups and downs and with sadness, there always comes happiness.
Both feelings follow each other.
In the same way, death follows life and lifts out your soul from your body. We can only overcome the fear of loss when we accept death as a part of life and as the reality of every human being.
Of course, it’s a fundamental part, an undeniable truth, and everyone has to surrender to this reality.
Above all, your acknowledgment of mortality will overcome your fear of losing someone in life.
2.Understand principles of nature
Understanding the principles of nature will embark a sense of satisfaction in your mind. You have to consider everything as a part of nature.
Perhaps nature has created all of us at the same time so we could spend our time with others and create memories with them. Everything in nature has to embrace death or change its position.
Other than humans, you can consider the example of plants that grow from tiny seeds and become trees.
How much I missed, simply because I was afraid of missing it. - Paulo Coelho, Brida
These trees produce fruit throughout their lifetime but at the end of their life, trees become a memory and can leave a trace.
Humans also live a lively life and in the end, embrace death as the end part of their lives.
3.Do not consider yourself alone
Going through the tough phase of life always imparts a feeling of loneliness within us. Believe that, you’re not alone because billions of people are also dwelling within the same situations but differently.
We all are the same creatures and have universal feelings. As super creatures, we always manipulate a bad situation and ask a common question that “ Why always me?”
Remember that, everyone is going through critical situations and you can’t predict a person’s sadness from his smiling face.
To conclude, every person stepped into this world alone and had to step out alone.
Death is a powerful phenomenon that introduces everyone to another place where they have to lead an eternal life.
4.Express your feelings for loved ones
The fear of loved one dying could switch your peaceful nights to restless nights, because fear is a robber of rest.
With this natural feeling of loss, you may experience panic attacks along with anxiety and depression.
Their every phone call or meeting seems last to you. This is the worst situation but you have to encourage yourself to overcome this feeling.
Go and express your feelings to the people you love most. Show care, respect, and love to your loved ones so when they die, you can memorize all the happiest moments.
In this way, you will feel a wave of satisfaction rushing in your body that your behaviour was a source of comfort for your loved ones.
Otherwise, your rude behaviour and toxic words will be buried with the dead person, but will leave signs of regret and disappointment in your life.
5.Share valuable time with family
Share your special bond with your family and make memories by enjoying every little moment with them.
Give time to all family members especially your parents so when they die, you can memorize all moments from the past.
Of course, there’s no replacement for parents in life but accept this harsh reality and respect their feelings and opinions.
From childhood to adulthood, we ate the diet of love and adorableness from our parents that created a strong bonding with them.
Our roots of existence belong to them and when we think about losing them, it always rushes a feeling of losing our prominent body part that is unable to regenerate.
6.Accept changes in life
Life is a series of changes, you can’t be stuck to a certain phase or a moment.
Every moment will pass according to a specific time whether it’s a happier moment or a sad one. In that regard, you have to make up your mind to accept all life changes.
Only acceptance could bring peace to your life.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
Otherwise, you will become a prisoner to your fears.
As a result, fear of loss becomes a part of your skin that will never help you in life.
7.Go for therapy or meditation
If you’re suffering consistently from the fear of losing someone, then meditation might help you.
Meditation will solve your chaotic queries and will silent your inner critic. Undoubtedly, meditation is the best way to get rid of all toxic thoughts and inhale peace and happiness.
On the other hand, if you’re unable to meditate or still confused regarding your thoughts of fear, then you should visit a therapist.
A therapist will help you to realize the actual situation and to overcome the fear of loss by boosting your self-worth.
So, if you’re losing hope and entering the dark phase of your life, your therapist can help you and guide you from negative thoughts.
Final Words
Life is an irreversible cycle of changes that demands a different and strongest version of you in every phase of life.
If you’re unable to overcome your fear of loss, then how could you spend a worthy life with your loved ones?
Fears are biological reactions and it’s normal to fear losing someone, but burdening your soul with these fears will only result in emptiness. Your fear will become the biggest hurdle in your relations.
Instead of nurturing fear of loved one dying, spend your time with them and value their presence.
To conclude, you have to accept that humans are mortal and you can’t control mortality, but you definitely can make beautiful memories and cherish every moment with your loved ones until then.