Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
November 23, 2021 · 7 min read
"Nothing and no one is perfect. It just takes a good eye to find those hidden imperfections. ~ Daphne Delacroix.
“I can’t do anything right”.
I completely understand you. I’ve been there too. It feels as if life shatters to pieces and there’s nothing you can do about it.
But you can actually do a lot about your feelings and disappointments.
The biggest difference between people is their outlook to life. It all falls down to ability to adapt to environment and challenges of life.
You need to tame your mind to your advantage. If you will be able to do it, you will solve majority of your problems in life.
10 Signs you can’t do anything right
Here are a few signs that you might relate to if you can’t do anything right:
- You take things too seriously.
- You’re sensitive.
- You feel you’re not enough.
- You lack insight.
- Your goals don’t reflect real possibilities.
- You’re too impatient.
- You devalue yourself.
- You’re too stressed or depressed.
- You constantly compare yourself to others.
- You have a negative self-talk.
Main reason why you can’t do anything right
The main reason why you can’t do anything right is because you devalue yourself and have low self-esteem about yourself. Also, it’s very likely that you’re a perfectionist.
Ultimately, it all falls down to Dunning-Kruger effect.
See, people who overestimate their abilities are usually the ones that are capable of very little. On the other hand, people who underestimate their abilities are likely to be more successful than the latter group. That’s the essence of Dunning-Kruger effect.
You belong to the group of people who underestimate themselves.
If you’re aware of your imperfections, that’s great news! A lot of people are in stagnation because they think they know-it-all.
Now, your biggest challenge is to find the balance. You have to be aware of your imperfections, but you also can’t let them override and control your life.
That’s the key to a happy and a fulfilling life.
15 Ways to stop thinking you can’t do anything right
1. Mistakes are not mistakes
Failures and mistakes don’t define your life.
Like Thomas A. Edison has said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”.
Mistakes and failures are not signs of an unsuccessful person. In fact, the most successful people use them as a mechanism for self-growth.
Beauty is the shadow of imperfection. ~ Simon Van Booy
One of the biggest mistakes (yes, it’s actually a mistake!) people make is that if they can’t do anything right in the first try, they see themselves as failures and untalented individuals.
If you have this negative mindset, you will limit yourself from developing your character and personality.
Instead, embrace mistakes as opportunities to grow.
2. Understand your feelings
Feelings shouldn’t be taken easily.
Feelings can mean a lot of different things. In this scenario, feelings signal you that you’re not enough and you need to change something.
Ultimately, it’s good for you because it means your subconscious mind wants to improve. Sooner or later all of us experience this exact feeling of “I can’t do anything right”.
Don’t neglect your feelings. You can’t be happy if you don’t know what sadness is. You won’t know what a true success is without failing first.
Feelings are a fundamental part of our development. There’s nothing wrong if you feel like you can’t do anything right.
You should be grateful for having such a strong subconscious mind which powers you to become a better person.
3. Refresh your mind
See, it could be that you’re too overwhelmed right now and need a good reboot of your mind. It’s completely natural and you shouldn’t worry about it.
It’s important when you are trying to relax not to think about anything. Simply try to smell things, feel your surroundings, and just blend with the environment in general.
Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. ~ Brene Brown
Try doing this to ease your mind:
- Have a warm or hot bath/shower.
- Have a hot refreshing cup of tea.
- Take a walk in a park or forest.
- Sit on a bench outdoors and enjoy the time.
- Try meditating.
- Listen to slow tempo music.
- Do your favorite activity (hobby).
4. Validate your points
What makes you think you can’t do anything right?
Is it yourself?
Do you feel like that because of other people?
Have you tried hard enough to prove yourself wrong?
To be completely transparent, life isn’t easy. We often give up before we give our best. We take others’ opinions too seriously.
There are a lot of reasons why everything could go wrong.
However, people tend to blame the environment or devalue themselves very quickly. You need to make sure you’re giving your best before giving up.
Certainly, there could be a few life areas where you are simply not meant to master. However, the rest of 95 percent you can undoubtedly be amazing at.
All you have to do is put some work in. If you’ve never tried working hard enough, it will look as if you’re overworking, even though you’ve just put only 2 hours into that task and goal.
Be persistent. Never give up. Life doesn’t serve itself on a plate. You need to take this plate of life, get all the tools yourself, and use them to your advantage.
5. Stop negative self-talk
The number one self-esteem killer is negative self-talk. That gets even worse if you’re getting pressure in your school, workplace, and other environments.
Negative self-talk is your inner voice that limits you from believing in yourself. It’s a toxic trait that poisons you from inside.
You have to catch the inner critic and always keep in mind that your thoughts are just illusion. They aren’t a reality.
Life isn’t meant to be lived perfectly… But merely to be lived. Boldly, wildly, beautifully, uncertainly, imperfectly, magically lived. ~ Mandy Hale
If you really want to beat negative self-talk, you have to take actions. You have to prove to yourself you can achieve anything you want.
Of course, the first step is recognizing your problem. However, the second is most important – setting a detailed plan and executing it.
A lot of people dream about becoming the best in their area, establishing businesses, but not that many have courage to do that. It’s all about acting instead of overthinking.
6. Set realistic goals
You might feel like you can’t do anything right because you instantly set up big goals without giving it a proper thought.
That’s a common mistake that leads people thinking they’re disappointments and they will never achieve anything. I can’t blame that – it’s a natural response to a failure.
It’s just as important to set only 1 big goal at a time. You can’t juggle 5 different types of knives at the same time. Similarly, you can’t do many goals simultaneously either.
So, how do you set realistic goals?
Be very conscious and specific how you set goals. Here is a quick and short summary how this should be done:
- Write your goal.
- Split your goal into smaller tasks.
- Assign specific amount of time for each task.
- Take measurements of your progress.
- Take a step back and analyze what you could improve on.
The last step is especially important. Don’t just go blindly and push through your goal. You need to find the most efficient, easiest way to achieve a goal.
Be aware that 99 percent of cases there are no shortcuts in life. But, it’s possible to make things much more enjoyable and save time.
7. Reconsider your limiting beliefs
You can’t do anything right because your mind is afraid to explore new opportunities. Limiting belief is a thought that you religiously believe cannot be changed.
The thing is, it has a negative impact on your personal development. You will never know what you’re capable of.
Practice doesn't make perfect. Practice reduces the imperfection. ~ Toba Beta
A common belief is “I’m naturally bad at math”. While at some extent it’s true that some people are more naturally gifted in some areas of life than others, it doesn’t mean that you can’t become good at it too.
You can get rid of limiting beliefs in this way:
- Identify and write your limiting beliefs.
- Determine what made you believe them.
- Establish a positive belief or a neutral belief.
- Look for evidence and ways how to achieve it.
- Work on your positive/neutral belief.
Neutral belief means that while you might not be the very best at something, but you still can be really good at it. And the truth is – you can! Even if you can’t sing with enough persistence, you will eventually become a really good singer!
As soon as you open your mind, you will be able to do everything right.
8. Leverage happiness to your advantage
You can’t do anything right because you don’t take advantage of what life provides with.
By saying that, I particularly have in mind happiness. If you only find a way how to enjoy the process, you should see an increase from 20 to 30 percent of productivity, according to psychologist Shawn Achor.
Besides, people have a very unhealthy habit of pursuing goals. Having a goal itself is not a wrong approach.
However, chasing goals and expecting to be only happy when you achieve them is not what a healthy mind would do.
If you will live by this unhealthy way of thinking, you will be stuck in a hamster wheel. You will never be happy. You will always feel as if you can’t do anything right.
Ultimately, you should find a way how to enjoy your process to success. If it doesn’t bring you even a single nugget of happiness, you need to change your tactics and strategy.
9. Be kind to yourself
You need to be kind to yourself if you feel like you can’t do anything right.
See, no one is perfect. It’s easy to fall into a perception that everyone has their life together, know exactly what to do, and everyone is extremely successful.
You were born to be real not to be perfect. You are here to be you, not to live someone else’s life. ~ Ralph Marston
The fact is everyone faces difficulties. A lot of people suffer from impostor syndrome. You need to be easier on yourself.
Only when you’re compassionate and kind enough for yourself you will have enough courage and do everything just the way you want to.
10. Stop comparing yourself to others
You can never do anything right because your focus is shifted to other people. The jealousy of others makes you distract yourself from what matters.
And the details that actually matter are your desires. They should be your number one priority and you shouldn’t doubt yourself.
Comparing yourself to others makes you feel bad about yourself. There will always be people who will look wealthier, healthier, happier, more successful, and superior to you.
To a healthy extent comparing yourself to others may have benefits. It will make you push yourself more, be more ambitious, and prove your self-worth.
Nevertheless, once it takes over your healthy mind, you should stop this behavior immediately. It’s important to distinguish the line between the benefits and the negatives.
11. Be mindful
Being mindful means to be fully conscious of your current emotional and physical state. Remember that feelings are inevitable and are part of our identity.
Make conscious decisions. If you’re reading a paragraph, focus on it. Try to understand the main idea behind it. Don’t just do everything mindlessly and expect for results.
If someone is too perfect they won't look good. Imperfection is important. ~ Eric Cantona
Every action has to be done with a positive intention. Otherwise, you won’t get anywhere far.
The more aware you are of the environment, the better. You will gain a new outlook to the world and you will cope with obstacles way better than before.
12. Grit is the key
Grit, in other terms, is perseverance and passion to pursue long-term goals.
Interestingly, person’s success is defined way better by grit than IQ or talent [1].
When you think you can’t do anything right, remember that your goal is oriented long-term. There’s no doubt that you have to enjoy the moment and make the process fulfilling.
However, you need to always remember why you are doing whatever you do. Your effort is twice as important if not more than the talent.
13. Live for yourself
Focus and live for yourself. If you can’t do anything right and try to validate your actions through pleasing others, that’s a wrong approach.
You definitely won’t be able to do anything right if other people will control your life. They will always try to get the most out of you.
The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one. ~ John C. Maxwell
That’s when your self-esteem will plummet and you will highly doubt yourself. You need to be confident and live by your own means.
And if you’re thinking living for yourself is selfish, it certainly isn’t. You only have one life and you have to be happy.
14. Don’t worry about things you can’t change
Your worrying about things you can’t control might be the biggest obstacle that you can’t get over. It’s no surprise that you have a feeling like you can’t do anything right.
You can’t change the weather, past, other people’s minds, and many more things.
This behavior will only drain your mental energy, you will start having low self-esteem, and you will believe you’re underachiever.
15. Change your environment
Your daily routine could be a trap for your mind. It might be toxic without you realizing it.
For example, you can’t do anything right because you constantly check your phone, someone disturbs you, or you just do a mindless activity for no reason.
You have a limited energy to execute a task with as much precision as possible. That’s why you constantly hear that the most important tasks should be done in the beginning of the day while you’re still very alert and have plenty of energy.
You need to find or create an environment without distractions so you can peacefully work on what you need to. The changes could seem very small, but they can have a very big impact on your productivity, for example, moving your phone to another room.
Final Words From Delightful Mindset
It’s not that you can’t do anything right – it’s simply because you have incorrect outlook to the world. As soon as you change a few of your habits, you will see drastic positive results.
Remember to be critical of your decisions and constantly validate them. Most of the time, you can achieve anything you want. All you have to do is to believe in your strengths and have enough grit to continue pursuing your goals.
- University Of Utah. Is grit the key to success in work and life? [viewed Nov 23, 2021]. Available from: https://accelerate.uofuhealth.utah.edu/leadership/what-im-reading-is-grit-the-key-to-success-in-work-and-life