Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
October 13, 2021 · 7 min read
There is pain in staying the same and there is pain in changing. Pick the one that moves you forward. - Lee Rose & Kathleen McGhee-Anderson
“Why can’t I get you off my mind?”
“Is this a sign the other person is thinking about me too?”
“How do I get someone off my mind?”
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? Honestly, I’ve been obsessed with one person that has been on my mind for a few hours now which has inspired me to write this article.
However, as everyday I’m practicing mindfulness, It seems as if I’m starting to ease my mind.
The inability to get someone off your mind can indicate that the other person is also thinking about you to absolutely nothing.
Let’s try to recognize the signs and see which one suits you the best. I’ll also provide you with general tips how to get someone off your mind.
When you can’t get someone off your mind, it might mean that the other person is thinking of you. The chances are higher if you’ve met that person recently. It doesn’t matter if you’ve talked to him/her or just seen each other on the street.
If you both are curious minds and are very into thinking about other people, an eye contact is enough.
If you’ve had a big argument or experienced a break-up, there are very high chances that you are both thinking of each other. The reason for that is because such experiences leave a scar both in your minds and hearts. It takes time to heal and it doesn’t happen overnight.
Finally, the last big indicator if someone is thinking about you is that you’ve had a great time together. Just like arguments leave us wounded, happy moments make us enlightened and happy. We want to relive our joyful moments and therefore we think about other people.
It’s worth mentioning that if you stop thinking about someone, it doesn’t mean that the other person stops thinking about you too. People have their own will of mind and only they can control their thoughts. If that was true, people would have exact same thoughts, same hobbies, would behave the same, etc.
Whenever something bad happens, keep calm, take a few deep breaths and shift the focus to something positive. - Roy T. Bennett
There is 99.99% probability that someone is not thinking about you if they don’t even know you. If you’ve seen another person in the mall and now you are thinking of him, it’s very likely that it’s only one-sided feeling and not mutual. If it happens that you fall into the 0.01% lucky range, then it’s only a coincidence.
Also, if you think about celebrities or other people on the Internet that haven’t seen you before, there is 100% chance that it’s definitely only one-sided thought. In other words, they aren’t thinking of you. Unfortunately, there’s no such thing as control or manipulation of other mind.
A very common reason to be unable get someone off your mind is being physically attracted to another person.
That’s simply because the laws of attraction exist. It’s common to fantasize about people that you find attractive, especially if you don’t have your significant other yet.
A study has thoroughly researched and found that physical attraction exists among people. For example, if you find a person very attractive, you’ll be gazing at him/her for longer period of time. It’s one of the tracking methods of attractiveness.
Similarly, if you find a person physically attractive, you’ll be thinking of him. You definitely won’t be thinking of a person that you think as unattractive. You might be thinking of such person only for different reasons and probably for shorter period of time.
I’ve got to be honest. I’m animals’ person. I feel sorry for dogs or cats that wander in the streets or that have nowhere to go in cold days of winter.
I can’t get them off my mind. I don’t care about their appearance, age, or health issues. If I had my own large house, I’d take them all with me and take care of them.
My most memorable moment was when I was on holidays in Greece, Crete Island. I remember walking to a bus station to get to the airport. I walked for about 40 minutes early in the morning and a dog kept following me. That poor thing almost got hit a few times on the road. He looked very young and distracted. I still wonder how he’s doing.
You might be feeling the same but only about other people, such as your friends, family members, or strangers. For that exact reason you might not be able to get someone off your mind. Helping others is an amazing gesture of kindness and courage.
I was bullied in my childhood. I was accused of being a fat child and that was enough for other children to pick up on me. There was one particular kid that really liked to make fun of and pick fights on me.
As a result, I was constantly thinking about him. Not only during my classes, but also when I was at home. I was hurt.
You don't fail when you get into a problem, it's when you get stuck into it. - Mahendar Singh Jakhar
People can hurt in many ways. They can hurt in your workplace, family environment, some random area by a stranger.
We hold a grudge against people that hurt us. That’s why we can’t get them out of our head. A lot of thoughts go through our mind, such as: “why did he do that?”, “Why are people mean?”, “I wish I could repay him with same pain”, and other thoughts.
It’s important to note that when we drown in our emotions, we might think not rationally. Some really awful ideas or thoughts can pop into our heads. It’s important to control our emotions, which we’ll discuss in the other section.
Did the other person challenge your outlook of the world?
Did he spark contradicting ideas that you’ve never thought of?
My second manager in the corporate job made me interested in his way of thinking. He was simply different. His thoughts were extremely on point, based on logic and facts, and he knew how to approach people with mysteriousness while leaving no doubts on current task needed to be done.
He was also very knowledgeable about a lot of life areas. However, he was, I’d say, a little arrogant. He possessed interesting pool of character traits.
What I’m trying to say is, that you might’ve experienced such person as well. You might’ve been astonished by this person’s ability to understand feelings, being a great speaker and listener, or just simply being a great mind.
In either case, finding people like these is a rarity. You’ll certainly be able to tell if you’ve found such person.
You had a great conversation. You had a good laugh and enjoyed your time. Now you are at home and you can’t stop thinking about this person.
That person is on your mind because of charm. Notice that it’s not love, even you might be thinking that it is. Love is affection that doesn’t require you to constantly think of a person. That person is in your heart that gives you warmth and happiness.
You begin to fly when you let go of self-limiting beliefs and allow your mind and aspirations to rise to greater heights. - Brian Tracy
On the other hand, a person that you’ve met for several times can mostly mean an initial stage of relationship and lust.
True love can be defined only after learning everything about the other person. It’s ability to recognize and accept other person’s perfections and imperfections and live with it.
I have one good friend that is always fun to be with. He seems to be a “people’s person” that continuously meets with everyone to have a great time.
To be fair, his life story isn’t the greatest. He had a hard childhood and adolescence. Despite of this fact, he’s like a sunshine and makes everyone feel joyful.
Sometimes to value life you have to feel a lot of pain.
Such people enlighten our life, spread happiness, and inspire us. Every problem in that moment disappears and you live in the present. Sometimes, you don’t even want that moment to end.
To be fair, everyone should try their best to be such people. Life would be much brighter for everyone.
In either case, catching feelings on someone is definitely a reason why you can’t get someone off your mind.
You’ve started to reminisce old, good times with your friends, ex, or someone else. Life was good.
Constantly thinking about people that you’ve had common past with is a sign of partial unhappiness and having too little to do with your time. It’s great to spend evenings to revitalize your memory and enjoy happy moments of the past.
Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again. - James Cook
However, being stuck in those thoughts and thinking about people related with those memories for days might provoke anxiety and depression. You don’t feel happy at the moment. You need to get out of this cycle.
I’ll be showing how to do that in the upcoming section.
Acts of kindness touch almost everyone’s heart. A lot of you probably know MrBeast and his philanthropic approach to other people. I’d suggest you watching this engaging video how he gave $1,000,000 worth of food to people that need it:
Look at all the positive feedback! So many people are inspired and I’m sure that a lot of people can’t get out Jimmy (MrBeast) out of their mind.
It’s more amazing that he was only 23 at that time. People like him truly have an impact to make this world a more positive place.
Did you learn that one of your friends has been diagnosed with a potentially deadly disease?
Have you lost your job?
Shocking events make us to deny a thought. As a result, we can’t get someone off our mind and we question ourselves why that happened.
A terrifying occurrence can leave us stressed, depressed and we might process our thoughts for hours, if not days, weeks or months. Negative thoughts become a part of our soul and identity.
However, this can be mitigated if you start being mindful about the situation and take ownership of it.
You can’t get someone off your mind because you are emotionally attached to that person. Once you reduce this attachment, you’ll feel at ease.
Sometimes lack of emotional vocabulary can be the main reason why we are left confused.
Perhaps you can’t get someone off your mind not because you are angry at them, but because you are just slightly irritated?
Learning too soon our limitations, we never learn our powers. - Mignon McLaughlin
Identifying your feelings can help you to get someone off your mind much quicker. Try to use emotional vocabulary to your advantage. Even if you feel very sad, try to prove yourself that you are only slightly upset.
The power of words can greatly improve your well-being and make you a more positive person.
One of the main reasons why people fall into a meaningless cycle of thinking is because they have too much time on their hands.
If, for example, a person is lying on the couch all day on the weekends, it’s very likely that eventually he’ll get bored and start occupying his mind with different thoughts.
To get someone off your mind, you must do something that keeps you occupied either mentally, physically, or both.
Here are a few examples how to occupy yourself:
The best way to distract yourself is to get out of your comfort place and go to a place where are lots of people, such as city center, old town, local events, etc.
Embrace your thoughts instead of running away from them.
Let your feelings out. Think about that person for an hour or two and make yourself a promise that you’ll get him out off your mind after that.
Life has no limitations, except the ones you make. - Les Brown
Facing your fears and challenges can be one of the best ways to forget about them. In the process of thinking about someone, challenge your thoughts:
When you can’t get someone off your mind, try to find a good reason why that happens. Once you understand the root problem, you should be able to comprehend the simplicity of the situation.
To get a new result, you obviously need to change your action.
Approaching the situation with same actions will bring the same results. You have to acquire limitless mind concept to make new positive changes in your life.
The only way you can do it is by changing your state of mind. Therefore, to get someone off your mind you have to change your mindset. Get out of your comfort thinking zone.
Here’s how you can do it:
It can help you to have a more diverse pool of thoughts and let you approach the problem from different angle. Consider joining a forum or a group of people that share the same interests as you do.
Perhaps it’s really something insignificant and your mind is playing tricks on you?
Living in modern society has its own positives and negatives. One of the negatives is that we experience a lot of thoughts and we can’t focus only on one thing.
Learning how to focus all your mental energy on one thing can bring you calmness, have more control over your thoughts, and be happier person in general.
If you’ll do it right, it can help you with mind chaos instantly. It will help you to arrange your thoughts better and pick individual thoughts that bring happiness instead of sadness and negativity.
To not overwhelm yourself, I’d suggest you do anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes of meditation per day. Choose a place where you feel comfortable, sit with straight posture and focus on your breathing. Don’t think about anything else.
To get a better idea of meditation, you can watch this informative video:
There are potentially a lot of reasons as to why you might have someone stuck in your mind. It’s totally okay as long as it doesn’t hurt you and bring only positive feelings.
On the other hand, getting someone off your mind is possible, but you’ll have to emotionally detach from that person. It’s not as hard as you might think.
It all depends on your mindset and positive attitude.