Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
December 13, 2021 · 6 min read
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
You must know how hard it is to find a true friend. They don’t lay down on the street for you to pick up them easily.
An honest friendship is built on trust and mutual respect. That’s why not everyone is your friend – not everybody is loyal and they have their own reasonings not to be your friend.
To find your friends for life you first need to know how to distinguish from the bad ones. Let me show you how.
Not everyone is your friend meaning
Not everyone is your friend means that not everybody respects and cares about you. They don’t take in consideration your problems, opinions, and don’t try to find compromises that would benefit you.
A true friend will always stand by your side and support you. He will never abandon or betray you.
On the other hand, a fake friend will try to sabotage and take advantage of you. Such behavior is never acceptable in a true friendship.
12 Reasons why not everyone is your friend
1. Some people have negative mind
People that possess negative thinking focus on worst possible outcomes in situations in life. Instead of focusing on positive outcomes, they constantly worry about the worst scenarios and start overthinking. Their mind rejects to think positively.
If you have ‘friends’ like that who contact you during their worst times when they need emotional support, they are not your friends.
These people are energy and mood vampires that seek to recharge themselves by shifting all the negativities off their shoulders onto you.
Note that it’s completely okay to drown in negative thoughts from time to time. It happens for almost everyone, especially when you face stressful situations for the first time.
However, such behavior shouldn’t repeat itself too often. It should be a very rare occasion. If it happens that your ‘friend’ contacts you frequently for emotional support, he needs to fix this problem asap.
2. People aren’t empathetic towards you
You can always contact your true friends if you need to get something off your mind. They will always pat on your back and give some good advice.
Often those that criticise others reveal what he himself lacks. ~ Shannon L. Alder
As a contrast, not everyone is your friend if they don’t have time or show no interest in your feelings and well-being.
If they feel no empathy for you and boast about themselves how they would handle the situation better, that’s not a healthy friendship at all. They don’t understand you and never will.
3. People are hypocrites
It’s common that people in front of you act friendly, but behind your back they stab you without mercy. That signals only one thing, which is double-faced people.
They are not trustworthy and will bring you down just to look better themselves. It’s no wonder that trust issues lie among humanity. That’s how it all started.
Not everyone is your friend and certainly hypocrites are not one of those who you should keep in your close social circle. They will try to embarrass you and underline your weak lines.
4. People use physical embarrassment
There are individuals who like to show their dominance using soft or harsh physical violence. People who push you, annoyingly poke you, and even use actual physical violence are definitely not worthy to be called your friends.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside. ~ John Lennon
They embarrass you in public and show no respect to you whatsoever. They think of it as a ‘fun’ way to interact with you.
However, what they don’t think is how you feel about it. They don’t even bother asking. They don’t care about you and you shouldn’t care about them too.
5. Sweet words don’t mean trust
Have you ever encountered someone that sugar coats everything? They certainly have mastered the art of uplifting other people’s ego.
They know how to make approach you and make you feel appreciated and worthy. They make a lot of promises and they look fantastic in front of your eyes at that very moment.
It’s completely fine to do that, as long as they are keeping their word and do everything they say. However, it often happens that they don’t keep the promise and forget everything.
I knew one person that did that for a few years in my life. And let me tell you – I didn’t appreciate such behavior at all. I have to agree that the person is in his own league and was exceptionally good at that.
Nonetheless, it has no meaning. Actions speak louder than words. Never settle for less than you deserve.
6. People are self-centered
You see, all people are self-centered [1]. Yes, exactly – everyone. According to University of Chicago behavioral scientist Nicolas Epley, people are in-born being ego-centric. People believe they know themselves the best.
While being self-centered is apparently unavoidable, the ego-centric levels vary from individual to individual. When people are extremely self-centered, that’s when it becomes a problem.
It’s okay to love something a little too much, as long as it’s real to you. ~ Gerard Way
Not everyone is your friend, especially the extreme versions of self-centered people. They try to take all of the attention to themselves. They are not interested in you.
In addition, they hide their vulnerabilities and will never fully open to you. The worst thing about all of this is that they see themselves as the best and no one can compare to them.
That’s definitely not a type of friend that you would want to have.
7. People change after obtaining power
It turns out that people who are feeling powerless have more empathy towards other people. On the flip side, when people feel powerful they have less empathy [2].
People with power lose ability to understand what it’s like to feel powerless. They detach themselves from reality due to their ego. Their scope and view of the world changes dramatically.
After obtaining power these people will start threatening you, take control over your life and actions. These people are very deceiving, because you never know how their true colors will come out.
In either way, you should be careful and trust your guts. If you see any signs of superiority complex, run away from these people.
8. People seek for personal advantage
Some people are simply selfish and will do everything to achieve their goals. Naturally people are ego-centric. They look after their own needs and care very little about you.
For example, not everyone is your friend at work. A lot of them will step over your head to climb career ladders and to look better in front of the management.
That’s why you should first analyze whether a person has interest in you or not. Does he care about your feelings, needs? Would he sacrifice his time for you when required?
However, don’t get tricked. At first glance these people may look friendly and willing to help you. It seems as if there’s nothing wrong.
Yet, when they will get everything they want from you, they will cut bonds and act cold and weird. They might approach you in such a way that they don’t even notice you anymore. Don’t be too empathetic towards these people, because they certainly don’t deserve that.
If you notice that a person tries to squeeze out of you everything he can at any given opportunity, keep yourself reserved from these people.
9. Some people are pleasers
Not everybody is your friend, especially people that try to gain everyone’s respect. They try to make friends with everyone.
They just simply have no self-respect and have no existing filter what their true friends should look like. These people want to be at the center of attention.
A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. ~ Arnold H. Glasgow
Such people will come to you being overly friendly, spending a little bit time with you and then going away to the next person. They will repeat the same strategy over and over again.
In other words, these people are untrustworthy and will never be your loyal friends. They will sell their soul just to look good in front of others.
You can’t trust them and provide them with your personal information. You can only discuss with them on the surface level.
10. People are inconsistent
Have you had ‘a friend’ that acts like a ghost? Does he talk to you for a period of time and then disappears for months?
Note that, sometimes it’s completely okay. For example, if you’ve been friends with a person many years, that’s reasonable.
There are people that just feel like home and nothing changes even after distancing from them away for longer period of time. You will always feel comfort with them and have something to talk about.
Nonetheless, some people are meant for us just for a season or a reason, which means for only a fraction of our life. They don’t want to be our friends for the rest of life.
That’s completely fine and that’s part of the reality. The interests between some people are too different and you can’t keep up a natural friendship. It feels way too forced.
If you notice incompatibility, don’t bother to maintain a healthy relationship. It’s simply not sustainable.
11. People think of themselves too good
When you notice that a person tries to be superior to you or fake who they actually are, that’s when you know that not everyone is your friend.
They look at themselves differently than they actually are. They think of themselves way better than the reality is.
Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant. ~ Socrates
For an instance, they like giving out ‘life-changing’ advice to everyone while their own life is a mess. They feel that they are the soul of a party when in reality they’re one of the quietest people in there.
In other words, they destroy themselves from the inside. They ignore what other people think of them and don’t try to change themselves for their own quality of life.
Some people are too ignorant to understand that. It’s a burden to be friends with them, so you shouldn’t bother having such friend too.
12. People are emotionally manipulative
These people feel superior to everyone and feel like everything has to go like they want.
When their intentions are not going according to their plan, they show their true colors. They become seriously frustrated, insult everyone around.
Some of the signs of these people are that they want to victimize someone else and never admit their mistakes. They use fear to control other people, plays on your insecurities, lies, denies, changes subjects, and similar.
When you feel yourself caught up with such person, that’s when you know that not everyone is your friend. Don’t stay with these people and don’t let them hurt you. Step back from them immediately.
Final Words From Delightful Mindset
It’s very important to notice first signs of people that you cannot trust. These signs can range wildly and, in some cases, only time can tell more about people.
In either way, never put yourself down in front of other people. Never let anyone to do so. A true friend will always show you respect and take care of your needs and happiness.
- The Cut. You are Probably Pretty Self-Centered, but so is Everyone Else. 2015 [viewed Dec 13, 2021]. Available from:https://www.thecut.com/2015/09/you-are-self-centered-but-so-is-everyone-else.html.
- NPR. When Power Goes To Your Head, It May Shut Out Your Heart. 2013 [viewed Dec 13, 2021]. Available from:https://www.npr.org/2013/08/10/210686255/a-sense-of-power-can-do-a-number-on-your-brain?t=1639374377373