Every situation has a silver lining – discover a mindset that heals and enlightens.
March 6, 2021 · 5 min read
A question “how do people see me” is not the same as “the way that I see myself”
Do you view yourself as who you really are? or are you one of those, who are concerned about how people see me? It appears to be a petty question, but it is very significant.
Once a person starts thinking about this question, then he would realize that question “how do people see me” is not the same to “the way that I see myself”.
For instance, how we act, behave or interact with other people will help them to create a mental image of you. Sometimes there is a distinction between how I see myself and how other people see me and create a mental image.
Everyone’s perspective is different from another person: “you look so much better now and you looked not so good when you weighed so much more.” The other person might think differently.
People try to adapt to society and they hide their flaws or try to fix them. These actions can either damage our personality, or in some case it can improve the personality in a positive way by giving us confidence.
The short answer is that people see me or you differently. They can see either better or worse than you think they would. How other people see drastically changes from person to person depending on their beliefs and outlook of the world.
There is no such thing as united or unified portrait view of you and will never be, but you can try your best and try to make people view you as best as you can by improving your outfit, manners, communication and a lot of other aspects.
Many of us are anxious due to thoughts like “how people see me?”. Those complex thoughts keep us away from enjoying ourselves. This also causes us to continuously wear mask and behave differently around others.
People are always thinking about how to portrait themselves in front of others and how other people see me. we can avoid this situation or undo these thoughts by interacting with people and asking them what they think about us or do a small quiz on “how other people see me”.
By doing so you can form a real image of yourself and by doing this we can understand who we really are and how people see us and how we can fit in this society.
The famous ancient philosopher Plato gave the concept to “know thyself” and a lot of other philosophers claimed that this skill is the essential for the advancement of human being and its survival.
A similar concept is explained by Ramachandar in his book “The tell-Tale Brain”. In this book he explained that human brain can examine one’s feeling, thoughts and deeds.
It also examines the general outlook from other people perspective or point of view. This art of self-awareness and examination of how other people see me have been helping human beings to exist and survive in a society for many centuries.
There is strong scientific proof available that people who are self-aware and know how other people see them are happier. They are also intelligent, extrovert and fast learners. These people are more artistic, confident and are great leaders.
For some people it is easy to pick self-delusion over the truth. In this “me” center society people are usually obsessed with self-esteem and self-absorption.
They constantly think about their special qualities and it is brutally tough for them to examine who they actually are and how people see them.
A surprising fact is that people who are confident and trust their abilities are the least competent people. A significant amount of research represents that 95% people believe that they are self-aware but only 10% out of those actually are self-aware of themselves.
Most of us consider that we know ourselves by judging on achievements and performance in life. But this is concerning if you consider performance and achievement as a scale to judge yourself or another person.
There are two types of insights that relate to self-awareness. Those insights are: “Internal Self-awareness and External Self-awareness”.
Internal self-awareness is an inner understanding of our desires, passion, ambition, strengths and flaws.
External self-awareness is the perception about how you think other people see you from your perspective or from the view point of other people.
Both types of self-awareness are independent from each other. In most cases, person is either high on one scale and low on the other scale.
Fortunately, anyone can develop the right self-awareness. The only thing which is required to cultivate this skill is the willingness to improve oneself.
Also, a person needs to interrogate his assumptions about his own self and then ask for other people’s feedback. One can be internally self-aware while externally he does not know how he comes across other people.
Similarly, some people know how other people see them but they have a big blind spot internally.
And opposite to that – you can be really internally self-aware, but externally have a big blind spot.
There are several ways to shift how other people see you. In that case, we should keep in mind that our appearance, body language as well as non-verbal communication can create a strong impression.
There are few ways we can impress others and change the way they see us by incorporating the following aspects.
Our appearance, body language as well as non-verbal communication can create a strong impression.
One of the most important things when you want to impress other is to put yourself out there and tell yourself that “I matter”. Tell yourself you are unique and recognize your strengths and personalities.
Words are very powerful when changing the mindset. The more often you tell that yourself, the more you will believe in it.
Eventually it will transfer to a belief that will gain you more self-confidence. This empowered attitude will help you to shine out.
Always keep in mind that bad posture can make your appearance look less confident and more prone to damage by other people. So always keep your shoulders back, so that you will look even broader and make yourself look taller.
Your physical stance is important, because it shows your dominance and presence. Oppositely, if you cross your hands or put them into your jeans pockets, it shows vulnerability and lack of confidence.
Putting your shoulders back is a power stance that is proven to increase confidence and the likelihoods to take action immediately by a person.
Your confidence can change other people perception about you and it could be done by improving your personal presence.
If you want to create a great impression, then take a good amount of time on dressing up. Other people notice when a person is dressed up in such clothes in which he felt great or confident.
Clothing is one of the ways through which you can attract other and it would affect your self-image as well.
If you can make yourself more confident wearing a nice outfit, then definitely go for it. People feel the presence of confidence and immediately act in a more respective manner.
This is one of the simplest, yet one of the more powerful tools that you can take action upon and increase your self-mage.
People enjoy being around an interesting and funny person and to communicate with him.
If you want people to like you or if you are trying to mingle in a group, then focus on being that amazing person who shares great stories or asks good but simple questions. This is one of the way people will instantly start liking you.
An interesting and funny companion to talk with always takes breath away and time passes surprisingly quickly.
In other words, people enjoy being around a person like that and they become desired to interact with.
It is quite tricky to remain relaxed when you are out of your comfort zone but it is essential to give it a try.
Start slowly by relaxing your body/face, by unfolding your arms. These things represents that you are comfortable with yourself and physically relaxed.
When you are relaxed and comfortable, other people perceive that you are also confident which really influence the way they see you.
Sell yourself and be creative about it.
When you meet someone and you are supposed to introduce yourself and want to make a great impression, then try to use some positive word while introducing yourself.
Select a vivid description you want other people use to refer to you.
Sell yourself to them.
Tell other people that you are enthusiastic about new adventures and challenges and that you always cope with them.
Be creative and flexible.
Using such methodology in an introduction can help to boost your confidence and energy, which ultimately helps to be perceived positively by other people.
Folks can tell when a person has something negative within him. Anything that goes in your head will manifest itself in a way.
Moreover, people would perceive you negatively if they realized what you are thinking. That’s why it is crucial to make a transition to a positive mindset.
It is important to think positively and don’t let come in negative thoughts into your mind. By doing so you can create a positive aura around you.
Encouraging yourself with words such as “I am capable of overcoming any obstacle” will create in your mind a scenery of success.
Positivity is one of the biggest influencers in healthy perception of yourself by other people.
So there you have it!
I bet this list could help to improve your image.
This is everything you really need to improve your self image. There is no secret sauce. You will have to put in some work and perseverance in improving yourself.
You are the most amazing person and in the end of the day it doesn’t matter how strangers see you.
The most important thing is how you see yourself. You have to be confident in your looks and personality.